I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
