you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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