Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
