Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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