R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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