Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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