I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
