I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
