New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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