before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
