shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
