I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
