Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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