I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
