Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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