Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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