We won't sleep together?
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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