so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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