i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
