dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
