There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
