i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
