I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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