imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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