I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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