your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
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