your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize