I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
