Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
