Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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