why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
