i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
