He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Floor bacon is actually really good
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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