What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize