Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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