I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize