i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize