Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
