My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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