kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
