don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I can't turn off my feet"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize