my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
