I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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