Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
