yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
