My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
