The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
