And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
