I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
