he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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