I hope mine doesn't look like that
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
