i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
