so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
