Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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