I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
