Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize