found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
