Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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