So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
