okay pat passed out under dana's car
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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