Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
