dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
