I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
