Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
